How to have anal sex (R18)
Whether you’re thinking about being the top or the bottom, it pays to be in the know so you can have a hot, safe time.
The following videos are practical demonstrations on how to have hot safe sex. There is also more information written below to guide you.
Ready to try anal?
Maybe you have someone you're ready to take things further with? Maybe you’re not quite ready, but are curious about how men fuck other men? Whatever the case, it pays to be in the know so you can be ready to have a hot time whenever you do get with someone.
Please don’t watch porn for guidance - it’s pretty unrealistic and won't give you the information you need. We’re here to give you the run-down on how to fuck responsibly and have a great time!
Consent is really the most important part of any sexual encounter and it’s a big part of your preparation for having sex. Sometimes it can be easy to feel pressured into doing things you may not want to, especially if a position starts to get uncomfortable or your partner wants to try something you’re not ready for.
It’s really important you make sure you give your consent if you do want to do something, and that you say no to things you don’t want to do or aren’t ready for. It’s just the same the other way around – make sure you’re respecting your partner and that they’re on board with what you want to do.
You have the right to back out or ease off at any time, and so do any of your partners.
Before you begin, make sure you have condoms and lube ready. If you're not using condoms, you'll need to be having conversations about your preferred prevention method with your partner/s.
When it comes to condoms and lube, it’s pretty basic. The main things to keep in mind are to check the expiry date on the condoms and make sure you’re using water or silicone based lube. Check out our video guide to using a condom.
If PrEP is how you stay safe, you'll need to make sure you're having conversations about how everyone involved is protecting themselves - not just saying "don't worry I'm on PrEP" and that's it. Your PrEP is there to protect you, not anyone else.
If you haven't heard about PrEP before and want to learn more - we've got you - but the basics are it's the use of medication to prevent the person who takes it from acquiring HIV.
Remember PrEP can't protect you against other STIs like gonorrhoea, syphilis or chlamydia.
It's also important to know about Undetectable = Untransmittable (U=U)! U=U means people living with HIV who are on effective antiretroviral treatment do not sexually transmit HIV.
Showering before sex is a great idea, especially when you’re new to hooking up, and you’re not that confident with how your body’s going to work.
For bottoms, try keep up a healthy, high-fibre diet and you should be perfectly fine. Be sure to wash your cock and ass properly when you shower to avoid any awkward or gross moments for you and your partner. Douching isn’t necessary, but if you’re curious to know more about it check out our douching guide. Don't scrub your butthole harshly, as that could irritate your skin or even make little scratches that could make sex uncomfortable or increase the risk of HIV and STI transmission.
Get your condoms and lube out if you're using them and keep them nearby. If you have any sex toys you want to use, get them out so they’re already at hand when you’re in the moment.
Foreplay is a word we're kind of moving away from. All sexual activity is sex, and penetrative sex (bits going into other bits) isn't the "end goal" for all sex. The "fore" in foreplay, kind implies that doing any other kind of sexy stuff should be leading to penetration - which just isn't the case.
In saying that, it's very likely you will have come across this term, so let's talk a little bit about what it means.
For a really hot session you need to be relaxed, especially if you’re new to it. Getting comfortable with your partner by doing other sexy stuff that isn't putting dicks in holes, aka "foreplay", is a great way to ensure you're not only feeling good and super turned on, but hopefully less self-conscious and more in sync with your partner. Kissing, caressing, massage and oral are a good start; talk to each other, keep consent in the convo, and do what makes each other feel good.
Using sex toys is another way to warm up before fucking. There are so many different kinds of toys out there that it can be pretty full-on deciding what toys you want to use. There are dildos, vibrators, masturbation sleeves, butt plugs, double ended dildos and more to choose from it can take a while to work out what you like.
Remember to start off small and work your way up; using lots of lube is essential. If you don’t want to use toys, that’s fine too. If you do have sex toys, make sure that you wash them in hot, soapy water before using them, and that all the soap is washed off before drying them. If you’re sharing toys, make sure to clean or put new condoms on them between partners.
Putting a condom on
When you’re both ready it’s time for whoever’s being the top to put on a condom. Make sure you follow these steps:
- Check the use-by date on the packet to make sure it hasn’t expired.
- Tear along the serrated edge of the wrapper (don’t use your teeth as this can damage the condom).
- Make sure the condom is the right way up – generally this means the rolled up part of the condom is on the outside (it will look like a little beanie), so it will unroll easily as your move your hand down your cock.
- Put the condom on the head of your erect dick and squeeze the air out, then roll it down to the base.
- Learn more about condoms here.
How to put on a condom
Why does anal sex feel good?
When both partners know what they’re doing, anal sex feels great for both the top and the bottom. For the top it’s obvious – you’re getting to fuck your partner’s ass, which is going to be a pretty sweet time for your dick.
For the bottom, you’re going to feel stimulation in two ways. The first point of stimulation is at the anal opening, where there are lots of nerve endings to respond to your partner sliding in and out. The other spot to keep a feel out for is your prostate, which is sometimes called the male G-spot.
It’s a gland that controls a lot of your body’s sexual responses, so when it’s getting rubbed by someone’s cock (or fingers or a toy) then it can be pretty spectacular. It can take some time for your body to adapt to getting fucked, so the first couple of goes will probably feel quite strange.
Get it in: Positions
There are lots of positions you can try, so experiment to find the ones you both like:
You can try doggy style: it’s one of the easiest and most comfortable for lots of guys. The best positions to start with are those where the bottom has maximum control, like sitting on their partner’s cock and gradually lowering onto it. Another popular one is lying side-by-side, like spooning. If you are using condoms, and you change positions while you’re still inside your partner or they're still inside you, hold onto the base of the condom so it doesn’t slip off. Be sure to check that the condom is still intact while you’re fucking or being fucked. If you’re a bottom, feel for the condom as your partner’s cock is moving in and out of you.