Why does anal sex feel good?
There will probably come a time when a cis straight guy asks, confused, why you'd let another person stick something in your bum. For anyone inexperienced in ass-play, getting fucked can sound painful and it's hard to imagine how it could be pleasurable at all. But there are several reasons some people prefer not to top, and why some will proudly tell you they're a power bottom.
First up, if getting fucked is painful for you then you’re doing it wrong – so take a step back, find some info to get you in the know, then get back on it. Those of you having a good time bending over for some D will know how it can get you harder than ever and have you orgasming like crazy.
Ever wondered exactly why that is? There are two pleasure hotspots when it comes to bum fun: the anus and the prostate - and the more you know about them, the more fun you can have.
The anus consists of two rings of muscle and a literal buttload of nerve endings. The outer sphincter muscle can be controlled consciously, and now that you're thinking about it you probably can’t resist having a little clench to make sure it’s still there. The inner sphincter muscle is controlled automatically by your body, but as you get used to bottoming you’ll be able to work out how to get this to relax (you can start by pushing out as the top's cock enters you).
Because of the concentration of nerve endings here, a finger, dildo or dick going inside and stretching the anus is going to be very simulating. It also means you can achieve a lot of sensation just by playing with the anal opening, so if you’re a top and your bottom is a bit shy to take it, have fun warming up their hole with your fingers (remember to trim your nails) until they're ready for you to go inside.
Hotspot number two, the prostate, is further inside - about a thumb’s length in towards the bellybutton. It’s a gland that controls a lot of sexual responses, and if it’s stimulated directly by having something push, rub or vibrate against it from inside the rectum it will blow more than just your mind.
Note: The following people have a prostate: people who were assigned male at birth and some intersex people.*
Initially, prostate stimulation might make you feel like you need to pee a bit, but this is just your body readjusting to a sexual response from stimulation. After a couple of tries that sensation will go away, leaving you with a pleasure you just can’t get solely from external stimulation.
A word of advice: it can be tempting to keep going harder and harder when it comes to prostate stimulation, especially when you’re using toys, but going slowly is important. While you might be ready to have someone smash your hole when you’ve got a raging hard-on and are busting to cum, you won’t actually be able to handle that properly until later down the track. To avoid pain and damage, take slow steps and build up so you can play hard safely.
Aside from these two places, there aren’t any other ways to achieve internal stimulation, so going deeper isn’t of any practical benefit and may just cause pain. There's a lot to learn about anal sex, and the more you know, the more fun you’ll have.
*The previous version of this article stated that "only people assigned male at birth have a prostate" which was not correct information. We sincerely apologise for this error.