How Much Sex is Too Much Sex?
You hear talk about ‘Sex Addiction’ being thrown around these days - it’s on TV, in films, and celebrities like Tiger Woods claim it’s the reason they messed up.
Can you really have too much sex? Isn’t it like asking if you can have too much fun? The jury is still out on that one: different experts have different ideas – and Tiger Woods was getting the guilts for having sex with 14 women over a couple of years. A lot of gay guys thought that was really not that big a number. It's true though, we gay men do get a lot more chances to have sex than our straight bros. That’s for sure. Depending on what you're into, if you’re not living in the country or a small town it’s pretty easy to find some guy to have sex with just about 24/7.
Let’s face it – gay men fuck around a lot more than straights. A lot of gay guys pride themselves on being really good at sex too, knowing what to do and how to do it well – we’re generally more sexually sophisticated and adventurous than most straight guys are. And that isn’t a bad thing, in fact it’s a pretty good thing really – but it does mean we need to take more care about our sexual health. A lot of us have open relationships too, so we owe it to the men we love to keep them safe.
If you’re fucking around a lot it’s not a bad idea to get checked at least twice a year, maybe more – and you can do it all safely and for free either at Sexual Health clinics or at the three Burnett Foundation Aotearoa centres around the motu. So why not?
Some guys have low sex-drives and other guys have much higher ones. For some guys sex once every couple of weeks is fine, for some they really want it once a day, or more. So it’s hard to make a rule about how much sex is too much – we’re all a little bit different in how much we want and when.
But can you really have too much sex? When they talk about sex addiction, the experts are usually talking about people who are using sex as a way to avoid other stuff in life, like how some people will drink or use drugs as a way to escape. So if every time you feel your life is turning to shit and you rush off for a fuck as a way of coping, then maybe you need to talk to someone about it.
Good sex is one of the great joys of life – that’s why we like it, right? Being with another guy, feeling his body, him feeling yours, when it all clicks it’s just the best fun. So don’t worry too much about how much you’re having, just make sure it’s good sex, and safe for you both.